Our First Hurdle

The tension in the car on the way back from Uncle Femi's was incredible. The silence was killing me so I reached out to switch the radio on. "Leave it", you snapped, "I need to think. We pulled up to mine and you still hadn't said anything. I opened the door and turned around to look at you but you stared straight ahead. "Erm, Goodnight then" I said as I got out. Silence. I shut the door, you sped off so fast that I could see the smoke from your tires.

I was confused, I had never had reason to doubt your feelings for me till now. This was an entirely new experience. Did we just break up, what happened to all the love we claimed to have for each other. Is that all it took to test the strength of your love for me? You didn't call me to say goodnight. You always call. That night, I tossed and turned until I finally fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to find that you had text me at 4am. "Good", I thought, "at least the prick couldn't sleep either."

"We are raising our kids as Muslims, right?" was what your text read.

What the fuck? When Uncle Femi said talk things through, I am pretty sure this was not what he meant.

I sent you back a text "wrong, they are going to make their own minds up"

You replied "That is ridiculous, children need guidance, you cannot seriously expect them to choose their own faith"

I replied "Well, at least my suggestion requires a compromise on both our parts"

Almost immediately you replied "obviously we need to talk, I'll pick you up in an hour."

And so I waited, an hour passed and the two. I called you twice, no answer. I gave up trying. Late in the night, I received a text from you; "I'm outside". I was starting to think that my baby was on crack, no apology, no explanation. "Idiot", I thought, you can wait for yourself downstairs". I most certainly am not getting out of bed.

I got out of bed, I walked down the stairs and headed to the door. "Hi" I said, "Hi" You replied. Silence. Then you started talking ....

"Listen, Your uncle gave me a lot to think about, things that we had consciously avoided, probably because we didn't want to rock the boat. I don't know the answer to any of the questions your uncle asked us yesterday and that scared the shit out of me. On my way here, I was going to tell you that I think we should see other people, figure out if this and all the sacrifice it entails is really what we want. But then I saw you and I realised that there will always be a million things I am unsure about. The one thing that I am certain about is my love for you.

The tears that had started to fall when you said you wanted to see other people automatically ceased. That was one of the things that amused you about me, my ability to cry on cue. Or as you called it "my manipulation of your emotions with my everlasting supply of tears" I cleaned my face and looked at you, "so what are you saying, do you want to stay together or not?" I asked.

"Of course" you replied, "That's what I am trying to say. Tinuke, I can't live without you, all this other stuff is important but it will sort itself out. Its not like we plan to get married anytime soon anyway, you are 21, I am 24. We have all the time in the world to figure things out."

That was how we put religion and its complications back in a box that would remain closed for another year. I think that it is amazing how I remember all this stuff in such detail. Don't you?

Always
Me