Monday, 31 March 2008

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

I was waiting for a friend during a fleeting visit to NY when I saw her.

My friend was 30 mins late,

those that know me know that 10 mins is unacceptable but 30!

I really wanted to see this friend,

if not I would have left.

I ordered an espresso and tried not to get annoyed. I

smelt her before I saw her,

she walked right passed me and she smelt of spring.

Fresh, sweet, flowers in bloom.

And so I turned just to see, as you do.

My heart stilled when I saw her

Never have I seen such amazing beauty

Her eyes, oh her eyes.

They were big and beautiful

I was aware that I was staring

but an earthquake wouldn't have torn my gaze from this creature.

Her hair was long, beautiful big curls

That shaped her face like a frame

making her beauty more apparent

If that was at all possible

Her figure was a joy to behold,

She was neither skinny nor fat

Blessed with curves were curves should be

She was beauitiful, that she was

I watched her as if mesmerised

As she spoke, I watched men and women alike fall under her spell

She laughed but I was too far away to hear here

She threw her head back and rubbed her hands together, so animated was she

She was drinking a latte, at least I think it was a latte

She licked her lips and I was suddenly aware of how it felt to be a man

And to watch a woman weave a web of desire and intoxicating adoration over her prey

She must have felt me looking because she suddenly turned towards me.

My heart stilled but I couldn't look away.

She smiled, her beautiful pearls blinding me for a split second.

I wanted to smile back but she had turned way.

She was wearing a jacket and I guess the she was getting hot because she took it of

Her skin was caramel, unblemished

I noticed she was wearing an engagement ring

And I wondered how any man was able to capture her heart

Tinu, Tinu,

Was I dreaming or was she calling my name

No, It was my friend, not only late but rudely awakening me from my reverie.

I reluctantly averted my gaze to my friend who although beautiful in her own right, paled in comparison.

Saturday, 29 March 2008

How I Spent My Easter Weekend

I know there are a few people who will say I told you so, but the novelty of Riyadh is wearing thin. The constant need to cover up outside the compound (which is kinda like an estate, or a little village) is annoying and in the blistering heat too. furthermore there is no alcohol and one needs to do some James Bond moves to get a glass of wine. Ah, the days of walking into any corner shop and just picking up a bottle of (insert favourite alcoholic beverage here).

But the pros outweigh the cons, cost of living is negligible as is tax, It definitely beats dashing her Majesty a huge chunk of my sweat and blood.

I was in the UK over Easter weekend and I drank like it was going out of fashion. Barely had one bottle finished, and I would signal for another. The friends I was with watched in amazement as I downed 3 bottles of wine with amazing ease.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, I had dinner on Easter Sunday at my parents and my heart was not heavy for the first time in a long time. all the reasons why we were not as we should seemed to fade away and i was just really glad to see them. My dad seemed older somehow, that scared me. it was a lovely dinner, there was a lot of genuine laughter, no awkward silences and my dad even referred to my brother's girlfriend by her name. He had called her "that girl" for so long that I had begun to doubt whether the man even knew her name.

After dinner my dad asked me to make him coffee, he always used to tell his friends that I made the best coffee in the world. I don't know what I did differently; hot water, coffee, sugar, no milk. I hadn't made him coffee in ages. As he sipped the coffee, with the usual ceremony of blowing then sipping, blowing then sipping, he asked me how I was. I told him about the heat rash I had developed on my back that seemed determined to buy a mortgage and set up home there. I told him about the my smelly boss, I told him about Mr arrogant and the lousy date, I told him about my fears that I made an impulsive move.

As I talked, I watched his eyes light up, his booming laugh as I picked the adjectives to describe my boss, as I told him about Mr Arrogant. He kept my gaze and as I looked into his eyes, I saw my dad, memories that I didn't even know I had came flooding back.

I asked him if he remembered how my brother and I called my mum honey when we were young because that was what he called her too. They kept trying to correct us but it took a while. Or the time I got locked in the toilet on his birthday because I had thought it was a good idea to lock the door and flush the key down the toilet; I was two. As we laughed, I heard my mum laughing, as I turned to look see what was going on, I saw here gently caress Tokunbo's face. It felt like the angel of God had passed over our home and made it whole again.

As I kissed my dad goodnight, I whispered "I love you daddy" in his ears, words I wasn't sure I would ever be able to say again. I couldn't explain it, it seemed like someone had rewound time and removed all the hurt and then fast forwarded it to the present time.

I spent bank holiday Monday with Mr Brown. he cooked me dinner and it was amazing. I kept looking for signs that it wasn't homemade, If it wasn't he hid it pretty well. After dinner, we curled up on the sofa and caught up.

"Eni has been calling me" he just blurts out. Eni is a friend of mine, we aren't all that closed but when one of my friends pulled out of the skiing weekend, i found someone to fill in just so the ticket did't go to waste. Eni was the only one available on short notice.

"Really" I answered, painfully aware that the green eyed monster was rearing its ugly head. "I didn't even know she had your number"

"She invited me round for dinner"


I turned my attention to the television, not wanting my body language to betray how I was feeling. Did I have any reason to be jealous? Was I just being a dog in a manger? But how dare that heffer just muscle in like that!

"So is that all you are going to say", he asks.

"What do you want me to say" I reply.

"Aren't you in the least bit curious to know if I accepted her invitation?"

"Did you ?" I asked

"No" he replied.

"Good" I answered, it just came out. I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye and then he reached out and pulled me into his arms.

"you too dey pose" I laughed, more so because his accent did not suit the broken English. He smelt like my dad, aftershave and menthol. I snuggled closer.

I had no expectations for my bank holiday weekend, but it turned out to be pretty darn good.

Friday, 14 March 2008

My Boss Smells!!

What do you do when your boss smells like stale beer, old cigarettes and questionable personal hygiene. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have to liaise so frequently. He is so comfortable with me that he on occasion reaches over my shoulder to point out various things, which I never remember because I am trying so hard not to gag.

It really is that bad. I am so tired of it. I am surprised it is not a topic of discussion as he is quite hands on and I am sure I am not the only one who has an issue this.

The guy is really nice, mid forties, not bad looking and married!!! I would never let my enemy leave the house smelling like that, let alone my husband.

I know I can't say anything but I am dying from these different aromas that by boss has deemed me worthy of sharing!!

Monday, 10 March 2008

50 Red Roses

So two days after my conversation with Mr arrogant's and my mutual friend, I got the most amazing bouquet of roses. There were about 50. I smiled. I figured they were from Mr Brown who although his visits were few and far between, did little things like this to let me know he was thinking of me.I couldn't find a card anywhere.

I sent him a text to say thank you and that the flowers were lovely. He sent me one back almost immediately.

"I am sure they are lovely, but I didn't send them"

So who did? T'was a mystery, my love life is non existent, there wasn't really any names to consider. I decided to leave my little mystery until after work.

I am not sure how the white paper amongst the red caught my eye but it did, the card was so far down that I scratched myself trying to get it. It read

"Do Over?, Mr Arrogant" . I almost hissed. Nonsense. Is that meant to be an apology? I ignored it.

3 days later I get call from His Majesty himself.

So how about it?

No hello, no nothing.

How about what

A do over. I assume you got the flowers

Yes I did, thank you.


So what....

Are you open to the idea of a do over or not.


Why do I want one?

No, Why should I give you a second chance.

He clears his throat. Silence.

I am not asking for another chance, I just feel that maybe neither of us were at our best and if we gave it another shot, I mean, who knows. By all accounts you are an interesting women. I guess I didn't see that.

I hissed (yes I did)

I don't know if it was down to the fact that it was 8am on a day when I had promised myself I was going to hibernate until noon, or because I had PMT and all the pains that come with it, but I just didn't have the patience that was required to be graceful to Mr A.

"The only reason that you feel like I talk too little is because you talk too much. The only reason you felt like I wasn't very interesting is because I spent most of the date wishing it would end as opposed to trying to engage you. I find you arrogant, rude and quite frankly I would not put myself through that torture again."


He clears his throat,

"I guess that's a no then"

I had to laugh, of course it was a no.

I can't be all bad if I make you laugh, Can I?

I guess not. Listen, I am going to have to go, I am supposed to be somewhere and I need to get ready (lie)

So what if I promised to shut up and let you do all the talking.

Err, Hell No...

I would gave to check my diary, I don't know I ...

Stop trying to fob me off. I know you think I am an arrogant prick. At least I am trying.

The only reason you are trying is because somebody has told you that the impression you have of me is wrong, so you want to find out for yourself. I am not trying to be rude or disregard your effort but I believe that the impression I have of you is the right one.

Am I really that bad?




What was the straw that broke the camels back?


Why are you so adamant that you won't try again?

I think what did it for me was trying to get me to come home with you. I couldn't believe the gall.

I cannot apologise for finding you attractive.

I didn't ask you to

Give a guy a break. Jesus! What do you want me to do, rewind time.

Give up.

Its not in my nature


Okay you'll go out with me again?


At this point, I was getting a call from my mum and I literally rushed him off the phone.

Later on in the day, I get a call from Mr Brown. He asks how I am etc. Then he asks if I found out who sent the flowers. I said yes. He asked who they were from. I told him.

The thing with Mr Brown and I is that distance became a hindering factor before we had passed the "getting to know you" phase. As a result, that phase is extremely drawn out.

He didn't say anything about the flowers after that, but the conversation got stilted and awkward. I knew he was sulking but I wasn't sure if he had a right to. I ignored the sulking.

He says that he was going to come over for a few days, but he is not sure if I am going to have time. I ignore this dig as well.

I can't be bothered with all this dating palava, its is so petty and draining.