Thursday 17 January 2008

Chivalry vs. Chauvinism

Happy New Year my people, I hope the new year is shaping up to be spectacular....

For me, I have to say that this new year is shaping up to be a challenge, Not just a new country but a new way of life and a new way of thinking. It's ironic that I rarely ever saw my family while I was in London, but I miss them now.

Sorry I went a little AWOL, but moving is stress like no other. And when I got here, there was no grace period, it was nose on the grindstone from the word go. But that is no excuse, so I will try to be a little more consistent this year.

So back to my blog title...........................................................................

In my new team, I am the only woman, nothing new here, I am used to being the only woman in a lot of situations. But at least in the U.K, I only needed to look around to see my sisters in various other teams around me, but not here, women are generally relegated to back office roles and admin positions. A member of my team kindly informed me that the general consensus is that I only got the gig because I know someone. Its the most infuriating position to be in, This is the 21st century, is it not?

Ok, now that I have vented, I have to say this cloud has a very massive silver lining. The men here are the most chivalrous men, I can't even remember the last time I had to reach for my purse or ope my own door. Its the most amazing thing ever. Guys in the Uk. do behave chivalrously, but it is exaggerated, as if to say I don't do this all the time, only for you. For the guys here, it does appear to be second nature.

I could definitely get used to being treated like this, but I feel like I have to object, I can still see the face of last guy who tried to open the door for me as I side stepped him and waved him in. Horror! But the truth is that this chivalry morphs into chauvinism and it would be hypocritical of me to enjoy the good bits and moan about the bad.

So I guess I cannot in all fairness enjoy free dinners, drinks. open doors etc unless I am prepared to adopt an all together more subservient role. As well......

I wrote a different post but when it came to crunch, I couldn't post it, so I wrote this instead. Maybe next post.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

The way I see it, its like there is either no chivalry or its too much. Men dont win this kind of war. And then u want it on certain times.

bumight said...

true, it seems cool at first...then it becomes annoying!

Ms. Catwalq said...

You talk true

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Okay, I love the fact that you talked about this, because I was in a heated conversatin with a male blogger who I managed to convince that professional women go through things that men would never understand.
As women, we have to walk a very fine line between allowing ourselves to be treated as ladies and treated as peers. It is very easy for chivalry to degenerate into something negative in the work place.

Anyway, all you can do is work harder than everyone else. Even that might not be enough, but at least, you would have proven that you are just as good and even better than your male peers.

Thanks for writing this. And yes, despite the name, I am female. lol!

Ah, catwalq, you don reach this side? Trust you. hahaha

flawsandall said...

hmm interestng...funny I was talking to my friend who lives in the middle east and she said the same thing about the guys there..

vindication through innocence said...

oh sooo true!But the city is like that- everyone wants to be that top dog- but i dont care- i wont lie and i sure as hell will not front- i love it!!!

Anu boy said...

as i never reach anywhere for life, i no know oh...

anyways, glad you are back, although i am like 11days late, nothing de happen,

how did your holidays go

Anonymous said...

just dropping by to say hello