Thursday 14 June 2007

Moving On, Moving In.

Leaving home was not as hard as I thought it would be. Granted, it would have been much harder if I didn't have you and Labake in my corner. Labake, bless her heart was so supportive. She gave up her study so that I could move in, she decided to be my voltron when all those over-sabi church members kept calling me to give their two penny advice. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, But it was hard.


I was angry that my dad had found it so easy to throw me away, like I was a used tissue, that my mum never stood up to him and went along with whatever he decided, surely she didn't agree with his decision? I was angry that Tokunbo didn't want to get involved, Tokunbo always sat on the fence. I was angry but I knew that even if they said I should come home, I wouldn't. Unless they accepted you and the likelihood of that happening was a million to one.


A couple of months after I moved into Labake's, you announced that you were getting your own place, I was glad. It was about time too. You came to pick me up from the station one day after work and drove me to this nice street in Golders Green. Inside, the first thing that hit me was not how spacious the living room was, or how warm and homey it already felt. What hit me was how familiar the place was. Upon closer inspection, I realised that it felt familiar because a lot of my things were there. My pictures were on the unit, My cushions were on the sofa. I walked to the bedroom and pushed the door open; on the bed was the teddy you had given me last Christmas, my clothes in the wardrobe, my towels on the rack.


I understood what you were trying to do but in that moment, I felt anger rise inside me like bile and straight out of my mouth. "Seun, how dare you invade my privacy like this, moving my things, assuming that I was ready to live with you. Did you ask me? I don't know the magic you used to get my things here but please use the same magic and return them" With that I stalked off.


I walked out of the house and almost sprinted the five minutes to the station. On the way I started to think; Labake obviously has a hand in this. I got out of the tube and went back to hers. I used my key, Labake looked surprised to see me. "Labake", I started, without even waiting for her to reply, "if you want me to leave your house, all you have to do is ask, you didn't need to go as far as to move my things for me"


Labake looked at me for what felt like forever before speaking."This babe, before you sabotage yourself, let me give you some advice. Don't push those closest to you away because you are afraid. That poor boy went through hell and high water lugging your heavy things over to that house, making what he thought was a sweet, heart felt gesture. If you are not ready, then say you are not ready. Have I ever done anything to make you feel unwelcome? You owe Seun an apology, and me for that matter"


I was scared. You were the man I wanted to spend my life with, I had given so much up for you but moving in seemed so final. I had panicked and although I realised you were trying to be sweet, I felt that you had excluded me from what was a big decision. I wasn't ready for such a move, not yet anyway.


I called you. "Papa", I said once you had picked up. "Baby, are you okay", you asked. In that moment, I remembered why I loved you, why I was willing to fight to be with you, I knew my outburst had hurt you and I wished I could take it back.


"I am fine", I replied. "Papa, I am so sorry for the way I behaved, I know you were trying to be sweet and I know it must have taken you all day to move my things "


"There's no need to apologise, I made the wrong call, you are not there yet, I understand."


I started to think; What was I doing? I love you, there will never be a right time. "Papa, I am ready. I'm coming back."


"I'll pick you up"


I picked up my bag and tried to ignore Labake's smug I told you so smile.


God really did bless me with good friends, who always tell you the truth whether you want to hear it or not. And you, God blessed me with you.

Always
Me

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I'm taking this whole story all in.

Waffarian said...

Awwwww, that was so sweet, he loved you and you loved him......wow....in this crazy world.....Oh Lord, what happened? Please continue, this story is killing me!

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

awwww very deep! very touching sweets

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

deep deep stuff!! please hurry up and continue!! his gesture to move all ur stuff was really relly sweet though.

Idemili said...

WTF happened to you guys? I know I'm not a romantic but shit. If you had this, then...WTF happened?!

Cheetarah said...

Awwh dat was sweet of him, but I have a feeling this is an 'after the strom post" am I missing summink? Ive read the last 3post sha, point me in the right direction!

Anonymous said...

babe...pls continue ur story

Cheetarah said...

I just read ur entire blog, yes i know im mad. so I understand now. Love is a strange thing, ur story draws me because i have written letters to myself about my relationship and reading ur story makes me worry becoz my battle will soon begin... but will I be as strong as you?

Waiting to find out what happen to Seun, but whateva it is u still have beautiful memories.

Tinuke said...

Cheetarah:You will be strong because you need to be. If you have decided that he is worth it, then hold on o that. I am rooting for you and if you ever need to talk, drop me a line. :-)

TDVA said...

really sweet. moving in n all. but why do i sense impending danger?

Anu boy said...

uhmm... speechless i find myself,
mouth unwilling to open, my voice cant be heard...
my heart keeps beating for the one i love
but it all seems wrong...
are we meant to be, i keep asking myself,
do i want to spend my life with you...
parents detests...
friends say its ur choice...
love says give it a try...
my heart is not srong enuff for this...
but i love you, thats all you need to know
i turn back and let go of the only one i love
it hurts.... shit it hurts... burns deep into my heart
but it seems like the best thing i can do right now..
Tols babe, i am really sorry..

Unknown said...

this is making everything i've gone thru seem so trivial..
this is love, trials and tribulations...
im happy to read this at the pace you wish to write....

Anonymous said...

damn. thanks for sharing your story with us...

i think you have single handedly restored my belief in love because of your story...

Dolly said...

Very touching

psykotikdiva said...

Wow, very deep, i guess this is a story of a past relationship, it seems so perfect.

Anonymous said...

evrytym i read ur posts, my heart beats so bloody fast, and i always seem 2 come short of words.
lyk chameleon said, u make my 'heartbreaks' seem so wateva

looking 4ward 2 an update...

psykotikdiva said...

Oh my God, i just read your blog from the beginning and im crying like a baby, i hope this isn't going to end with death, when you write, its like i'm right there, feeling the same emotions, however the story ends, remember that God is in control aite.

Anonymous said...

Chei Chei Chei Chei Chei
Ewo Ewo Ewo Ewo Ewo

Your posts are very touching. I’m talking real heart warming stuff.

I now have sudden bursts of tears all through the day.

You can understand how that can make life difficult for me at my workplace.

I'm in love with Seun’s love for you.

Please if this story ends sadly, don't serve it up like that. Would you please be so kind to change it to a happy ending? Please!! I'm begging you with every ounce of my soul. Please give it a happy ending. For the sake of my heart and my job.

Thanks.

LG said...

Is this a true story?
If so wow?
I hope you're ok.

IJEOMA said...

very very touching

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

this is so sweet!awww