The Shit Hits the Fan (Part 1)

My dad called me princess today. its been so long since he called me princess, not since I"dishonoured" his family. It took me back to the good old days, when he still thought his little girl could do no wrong.

I remember how it all unfolded. It was just after I got my first job, popsi was so proud of his daughter, he told anyone who would listen that his daughter had done good. It was at this time, when I was in his good books that he called me into the lounge.

"princess, princess", I was on the phone to Tosin, who as usual was in a cantankerous mood. To be honest, I was glad for an excuse to get off the phone. I told her I had to go and went to see what my dad wanted. He looked worried. "Tinuke, come and sit with your daddy" he said. So I sat.

"You know your mum and I are proud of you. You are an intelligent woman who knows what she wants out of life, but my dear, you don't know everything." My heart stilled, had he found out about you? Had uncle Femi betrayed my confidence? My mind was racing.

He continued, "I see you on the phone all the time talking to someone, I know it is a man. What kind of home training does he have if he starts to see someone's daughter without their permission? Tinu, more importantly, what kind of home training do you have that you did not seek our approval before dating this man?"

See me see wahala, popsi is stuck in neverland, which boy would come and ask him for permission to take me out? The thought alone would garauntee me a lifetime membership to single hood. I didn't say anything.

"Call him", popsi continued. "Invite him to dinner, tell him your father would like to meet him" Ah, I almost choked on my tongue. See who? Popsi would have died if he knew who the "man" was, what the hell was I supposed to do now?

I did what anyone would have done, I bluffed. "Daddy, I am not seeing anyone, just because I am on the phone does not mean I am talking to a boy. You know I like to gossip with my friends if I had a boyfriend, I would invite him over." I held my breath, did he believe me?

What happened next shocked me, my dad reached over and slapped me across the face. "Liar", he shouted. "Am I raising a prostitute and a liar? You know what the bible says about these things. So if you don'thave a boyfriend, who were you saying i love you too to? Eh, you can't talk abi? Tomorrow evening you had better bring this boy with no home traing home" and with that, I was dismissed.

I was stunned. What the hell was I going to do. I knew that if you turned up, there would be hell to pay. And that my dad would make sure that taht was the end of you and me. He knew I had a boyfriend, he was expecting someone tomorrow. I was freaking out.

I did the only thing I could do, I called you. You were quiet as I told you what had happened. When I finshed, you told me that you would fix it. You called me back later to tell me that you had a plan. "Go and apologise to your father for lying and tell him that your boyfriend will be coming to dinner." I asked if you had found someone to play a role and you said yes. You promised to email me the boys story so I would know what to say when asked. I felt a little relieved.

The next day, I still hadn't received the email from you, so I called you from work. No answer. I kept trying all through the day. No answer. I was going crazy with worry. I contemplated calling popsi and telling him that I had to work late, but I knew that it wouldn't go down well. So I bit the bullet and went home, consoling myself with how much I was going to make you pay for all this worry.

I looked at the time as my dad strumed his fingers impatiently on the sofa, "where is he? no manners" he muttered disapprovingly. I sighed. This was definitely going to be a long night. Only I didn't know how long. The door bell rang and I flew to answer it. It was you. "Seun thank God, I have been going out of my mind, why didn't you answer your phone, where is the boy?" I asked looking over your shoulder. There was no one behind you. I felt my stomach drop as I realised why you hadn't been picking up your phone.

"Tinuke, you know we have to do this. If you brought someone home and they eventually find out about us, how do you think it is going to look? We would just be making things worse for ourselves. It's time babe." You knew I would object. I wasn't ready to face my parents. I knew they would be livid.

I let you take my hand and lead me back into the house. Time to face our destiny.

Always
Me