Damn, Has it really been 2 months?
I seem to be having a problem sitting still, its not that I don't have anything to say, It's just that I can't sit still long enough to finish a post! I have 5 "drafts" which I started at different points in the last two months and just abandoned. I am going to attempt to merge them into one (hopefully coherent) post.
For those of you who have not heard this name before, he is a professor at Carnegie Mellon who has pancreatic cancer and has been told he has a limited time left. Anyway, Randy gave his "last lecture" to a room full of his friends, colleagues and students. Go to you tube, type his name in and watch it, It s 76 mins long but its a valuable lecture- I promise.
Good Time Guy
Okay ladies, you know that one guy in your life, that every one swears likes you but you aren't so sure, especially as he hasn't made any concrete moves? I say concrete because once in a while you catch him looking longingly at you or he leans in a little too much. Well he most definitely does fancy you!!
Just in case you cannot recognise him, lemme describe him in a little more detail. He is that friend that offers to be you and your friend's designated driver because he doesn't drink even though you are more than happy to hail a cab. The guy that quite happily foots the bill for all of you to get drunk and then take your hungry asses to Chinatown to soak up the alcohol. He is the first one you think of when you are at a loss of what to do or maybe when you need someone to go to the cinema with.
And every single time without exception, after each non-date, you gush obliviously "thank you so much, I had a good time?" If you have ever thanked the same guy more than twice using these words and he is not significant, in the only way significant can be interpreted in this context, then he is a good-time guy.
Guys, a free lesson: You do not want to be a good time guy. Its worse than being a friend, At least a friend has the possibility of a promotion to the "we were drunk and had sex" stage. A good time guy on the other hand will only ever be a good time guy. If a girl has thanked you for a good time more than twice and you have not made your intentions clear, then you are a good time guy.
I recently had a conversation with a guy that went a little something like this, I was a little tipsy at the time so I cannot remember half of it, bear with me. It was after a night out during a fleeting visit to London. I called up my ever ready musketeers and we hit the town. This guy who I never paid much mind except to acknowledge that he was a nice guy was also there.
We talked for a bit about the usual jazz, the credit crunch, labours lack of punch, Obama: a token or not etc. He change d the pace of the conversation and asked if I was in town for business or family. I told him that I was in town to see my boyfriend and he went silent. And I don't mean monosyllables, I mean dead silent. After about 30secs I broke the silence
Are you okay?
How come you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend
That because I didn't
So how long have you been seeing him
Not long at all
Okay, so what where we saying....
So I guess I am just your good-time guy?
I am sorry what?
I am the guy at whose expense you have a good time but that's it right?
I felt so guilty, because I have had a good time at his expense.
If I hadn't been overly enthusiastic with the alcohol I would have told him the same thing I am telling you but my mind works a lot slower in alcohol related situations.
If you don't make your intentions clear, then you really cannot blame a babe. We cannot read minds. Don't hint, spit it out.
In Case of Emergency Break Glass
Okay, the last bit was aimed at the boyz, here is a lil something for the gals. You know that little red display that say "in case of emergency please break glass?" You find them on trains, tubes, hospitals schools etc. Well, we all kinda know that they are there but we never really pay attention to it. However, if there was a fire, it would be a while different story.
Ladies, we most certainly do not want to be any guys "in case of emergency break glass" girl. That's a girl that a guy doesn't pay attention to but then in an emergency (in this context, emergency has no dangerous connotations) he breaks the glass or calls her up or hooks up with her.
Most times these guys are guys that emergency babes really like and they tolerate the behaviour just hoping that he will one day wake up and realise that she is the love of his life. Pah! Sorry but I am going to have to burst that bubble very sharpishly. An emergency babe is worse than a booty call, Because a booty call is a regular occurrence. An emergency babe is the babe he calls when wifey, the bit on the side and the booty call are unavailable and he cannot be bothered to DIY.
I was on the phone to a my cousin very recently and halfway through the conversation, he cut me off saying that he had to call his in case of emergency break glass girl. His words not mine.
I called him back immediately, curious about this metaphor. His explanation was a lot more crude and unforgiving than mine. In that conversation I was reminded just how prickish guys can be.
So I decided to share, If you like a guy and he only ever calls you once in a blue moon and only for one thing then you are an emergency girl. Cut him off. If however there are no feelings involved, you are a grown ass woman, do you.
Brown is not Seun
I have to tell myself this on a regular basis, because I find myself comparing them all the time and Seun always comes out on top. It got so bad that one time I actually voiced this comparison during a disagreement. Every one has told me what I am sure you guys will also say. He is not Seun, give him a chance, Its easy for Seun to come out on top, you have put him on a pedastal.
On the other hand, I like being with Brown, when I am not comparing him and sabotaging whatever it is we have.
*Sorry I stayed away so long.